When people step back from full-time work, they often struggle with whether they're using their time "usefully." I hear it regularly. Sometimes from clients, sometimes from friends who've made the transition. The guilt isn't about being idle (though that may come into it). Rather, it's about not being useful enough. But useful to whom?

I read Enuma Okora's column in the FT this week (behind the FT Paywall). One paragraph stopped me:

"I have a friend who, whenever I ask how he's doing, takes a moment before answering. Often he'll then express two seemingly conflicting feelings. 'A part of me is feeling grounded and engaged but another part of me is also feeling anxious because I'm concerned about [xyz].' I've grown to admire his willingness to sit with multiple realities, and even to begin practising it myself."

That willingness to hold contradictions, to say "both things are true" without rushing to resolve them, is rare. We aren’t always comfortable with it. We would much prefer coherence.